Today was a lazy day, oh confidant. I’ve done nothing productive apart from sitting in this cramped inn room staring at these same four walls that surround my bedside; I’ve grown bored from this small town. I want to once more embark on an adventure, though it doesn’t look like it’s continuing anytime soon. I suppose that’s alright, it’s not like I expected it to be much anyway just a foolish dream of mine. Dreams are funny things, the contemplation of possibly doing something that you really want to fills you with so much hope; it gives you ambition; it motivates you to go and do it, but many times when you actually do decide to follow on that dream of yours you find out that it’s truthfully much harder than what you’ve imagined it to be, it’s not so simple. I should know this by now, but foolishly I keep believing that this time will be different. I wonder, will any of my dreams ever become a reality? Or will this perpetual cycle of disappointment continue to plague me like a swarm of Chitoge upon the Shroud? Perhaps in time, or perhaps they won’t; I have no way of knowing, and that’s what makes it so…so…I seem to be at a loss for words. Gods curse this tongue of mine, for even it fails me now.

I suppose I’ll pack my bag with whatever few belongings I took with me; it shouldn’t take me long to be back on the road headed for Ul’dah. I shouldn’t be sad, for I expected this to happen eventually I may have been too foolish for my companion’s taste; I can be a bit overbearing at times, perhaps if I ever run into him once more I’ll apologize for scaring him off. Ah, I should, I’ll add this onto my evermore growing list of things to do before my flower wilts.

I wonder what adventure awaits me on the road back to that Jewel of the Desert, perhaps I’ll bump into a wandering minstrel who’ll captivate me with a beautiful song about an ancient hero. Or perhaps I’ll bump into an old sage, who’ll fill this silly head of mine with his wisdom. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll bump into a princess being taken captive by a group of bandits; she’ll call out for aid, and I will be there to rescue her, just like those stories my Grandfather used to read to me. Dreams…really are funny things.

Even though I tell myself that everything is alright, that this was meant to be, I can’t help but shed a few tears. This shaky heart of mine returning to the familiar pain that I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. I suppose it’s alright, for I am the one to blame, I shouldn’t have thought that an adventure would be something easy to undergo. It requires planning, stocking of provisions, and skills, skills that I do not have. I wonder, will I ever go on a grand adventure? What does the future have in store for one as foolish as I? Who knows, for I am not an Astrologian, who’s able to read the future via the cards she uses, I’m just a foolish girl whose mind is clouded with the many dreams she holds. It looks as if I may be a dreamer just like you, oh crimson haired phantom.

I seem to have rambled on too long, oh confidant. If you’ll excuse me, this foolish girl must go and dry her eyes, for in the morning, she’ll be headed back home.

Home…is Ul’dah home for me?

Yours,

Cydni Eloise Aizah

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